Sunday, January 27, 2008

Soul satisfaction

(The Isle of Capri from the Krupp Garden)

I'm really enjoying my yoga class. We not only work on our being in touch with our physical selves but our mental and spiritual beings. We don't have a big class so we talk to our instructor who even though she is quite young, is pretty attuned to herself. My quality of my life has improved immensely in the last few months and the almost crushing, oppressive atmosphere I was subject to has changed (no further comment on why). So, I have been working on the free space in my brain. I say free space because one morning (it was a Monday, if that is a hint) I woke up without the usual trepidation of having to face the day. My brain space was like a large, empty room with a hollow sound somewhat like an empty dance studio with wooden floors.

I waited for all the usual thoughts to make their appearance, mostly dred and paralizing stress. They didn't come. Hello? Is anyone there? Where are you guys? They were gone. My mind was free from those thoughts. Not wanting to get too excited at their departure, I waited. The hours and days passed and they didn't return. I started to realize that could move on and fill my mind with new stuff to think about. So after some rumination, I asked myself the usual question, which is, "What is the thing that would make me the happiest, right now?" Even if I won the lotto and was able to move to Italy, I had had something else that would make me happy.

So back to yoga. I asked my wise, young yoga instructor, why is it we sabotage ourselves when we have made a goal? We talked about several methods she had used in her life and then we did our yoga class. At the end of our class, when we lay on our mats and closed our eyes to release any stress points we had on our bodies, she led us through a meditation. She asked us to focus on something we wanted to accomplish this year. To see it, to see ourselves as having already accomplished it, that it happened. Then to think of a time in our lives when we were sublimely happy. It could be a small moment, an instance, some time or place and hold it in our mind with our accomplished goal to link happy, positve thoughts with our goal.

And so, I thought of Capri. Where I came and thought, I would never leave if I could.
(Our boat boy giving us instructions before we entered the Blue Grotto, Capri)

We weren't there very long. Just for the day. My niece wanted to see the Blue Grotto, a famous site and some say tourist trap. We took a group island tour and then got onto a smaller boat to go into the Blue Grotto. (Next time, we decided, we're going by private boat.) Afterwards, we rode the funicular to the top of the island and walked around. We ended up at the Krupp Garden. As I looked at the blue water and the boats I was filled with more than peaceful contentment. Soul satisfaction, I don't know what to call it exactly. I've felt it once before that instensly. And, yes, it was in Italy.

(Inside the Blue Grotto, Capri)

Hmmm. Happy thoughts!

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